Be aloof unavailable early dating stages


I received a short facebook message applauding my writing and ignoring the content. Yet I also felt proud of myself for being heart-open and clear all the way through. We’re given the opportunity to grow and change, until one day, that pattern doesn’t even arise. I sat in the unknown, staying open and present, seeing what might arise. It felt like the beginning of something that could be incredible and I was excited, nervous, vulnerable and open. Continuing with my practice of clear and heart-felt communication, I sent a text sharing how I felt. A few days later, I wrote an email, detailing it out. I felt like a fool because I’d ignored key clues in the first week or so as to the availability and nature of this man. We’re given the opportunity to see what this pattern is and choose how to respond to it. It’s all a bit murky when you’re not familiar with a person’s normal modus operandi. That means that he wasn’t a piece of shit to her and it gives you a preview of what would happen if you two broke up. Praise him for being a decent human being and get over it. If he shows up for your dates, contacts you regularly and displays a genuine interest in your and your life, you can take that as a positive sign. He’s probably not hiding a deep, dark secret, he’s not embarrassed of you, he probably has a reason that you’re not privy to. If you know you can be that type of overthinky dater, with PTDD tendencies (ME! So, maybe one time they got drunk and had sex and realized that they were thoroughly repulsed by each other romantically. It was nasty and the thought of ever touching tongues or any body part with that person again sends you into a convulsive fit. The key for you is to handle his need for space in a way that's respectful and dignified.It's okay to communicate your feelings (like in a letter) or to ask him questions about what he's thinking.It’s been a learning curve for me—once upon a time, I didn’t even know what was really thinking and feeling, let alone how to communicate that with others. I was getting good at this clear communication gig. It seemed a clear signal that he was interested in pursing something. I noted too that even though I was working on honest, clear communication I was still choosing written methods rather than picking up the phone and just talking to this man. How do I make the leap from this kind of experience to intimacy with an emotionally available person? Relationships still seem to be the main way I learn about myself and how I relate to the world and other people. How else do we learn to relate, but in relationships?Now I’ve gotten better at figuring out my own feelings and thoughts, and I’m learning how to communicate them to the people I’m relating with. Since ceasing all communication except to respond, nothing has happened.

But I also understand that smothering a girl too soon can be a huge turnoff.), it’s important to make sure your reactions are proportionate to the behavior in question. Below, some examples of things you might be (no, probably ARE) overreacting about. I maintain my distance and dont initiate texts or the like but hes not making much of an effort in. should I just be patient for a bit longer or forget about him???Many deep conversations in, I found myself beginning to get interested in this man. He pursued me initially, until I became interested, and then drifted off into his own world, content to let me pursue him.

You must have an account to comment. Please register or login here!