Dealing with the Guilt Managing Affected Relationships Finding Support to Cope with Guilt Community Q&A Dealing with a divorce is difficult for anyone.
There is the adjustment to a new routine, the emotional rollercoaster, and the inevitable guilt that sinks in.
It’s been a period of coming to accept she was being abused, of having to fight for child custody, protecting her daughters to break the cycle of violence and feeling guilty about divorce. He’s not gonna get any of that because she doesn’t feel comfortable expressing herself that way. I hear Two Kids And a Fish’s frustration at being the parent that shoulders the burden of her daughter’s emotions.Now, it’s been almost two years since we split up and just when I think everyone’s adjusted, something happens. So I just listen and I talked to her about it the best I could. She said, “No, I know what she’s gonna say, I know what she’s gonna tell me. I know that some women I’ve interviewed have seen their ex become a better parent after divorce, more involved, more engaged with parenting, some of the women say they’ve become a better parent after divorce but I wonder if the fundamental parenting roles you adopt early on set the pattern for parenting after divorce.For example, last night the little one came at me crying and such screams that she hasn’t adjusted, that she feels lonely, that she feels like we’re not a family. Now fast forward a year or so and Sara has learned to hold her breath and kick her feet; she’s put on her floaties and is splashing merrily in the deep end.But suddenly the rough-housing older boys in the pool have pushed her under, she’s gulping in water, and with her fear threatening to weigh her down she almost drowns.The story illustrates the confusion and anxiety children often feel when parents, eager for some measure of happiness and success in a new relationship, struggle over how much distance to place between their children and a newly developing romance."Seeing a parent date is an odd scenario for kids," says M. "It sometimes hammers home the message that our parents are never going to get back together."The power of the reunion fantasy is not to be underestimated, says Neuman, observing that some childrencling to the belief that their parents will get back together even after one parent has remarried.